Paths.

Paths are meant to lead you, they can also lead you astray, further away from your original destination. Perhaps you didn’t know where you were going, or why you were going there in the first place. I like to keep my aspirations grand, my goals clear. One thing I am trying to clear up is my desire, my intent. I am passionate about my trade, it has never lead me astray, my work is always representative of it’s context, which is all that is left. But getting caught up in the work can have you forget about the path, the ground can vanish from under your feet. When this happens, it can take some time to find another better path towards your destination. And so I seek the desire to assume charge of my own affairs, stop letting others make choices in my behalf. Seems like I’ve done this before, but never so clearly. It’s a process, a slow process of comprehension and projection, meanwhile doing as much work as I can handle on my own.

Which leads me to the next great step in my life. The name is so good, I don’t want to reveal it yet. But soon. I know however what I want it to be, which is the best thing to know. I also know I can take my time and act on my own decisions, that is the biggest relief. This new project and hopefully the best project I have undertaken is a web company, with multiple specific focus areas and objectives, nothing big, but ultimately something that is mine, where the goals are clear, the ideas are my own and work with professional dedicated people. I will also never give up on the possibility of forming a small T-Shirt/Poster shop once again, one I can use as a hobby, with none of the pressures of making it big.

Well. that’s enough for now. I wanted to give my readers (I think it went up to 2.8 readers. Yay!) the heads-up. Over the next few days I will be posting excerpts from an ongoing writing project titled “Life Vest Under Your Seat” a collection of short stories I want to finish and publish.

Identity.

Many things were challenged this week, stirring up emotions that I like to let lay dormant. A new path is forming which seems to bring comfort and motivation. I can feel a new me being born and shedding behind the skin of the past years here in Miami. It is a strange air I breath, purer and different than anything before. I sense I’m about to really be challenged in my professional life.

There has been a new balance forming in my mind, that of my personal and professional life coexisting, something I want dearly happen. Indeed it has proven to be difficult in some cases, and really easy in others. So I must trust in the decisions I make, they will not lead me astray.

Me Verás Volver.

So, I’m back. At least in a few binary code simulated letters, but they comfort me. Lots of madness going on right now, finishing up a big Fania project, so I am totally excited, it’s gonna be great. Also, got to travel to Colombia with my girl, which proved to be an incredible adventure, one that we wish to repeat as often as possible. It ultimately meant a great deal to me, that she was able to fit in and that she liked my culture, it turned out to be most unexpected but sweet.

My days are now spent freelancing, trying to catch up with the working world, working on a few projects with MasterFlow and also at this point searching frantically for Soda Stereo concert dates in the U.S. which I finally achieved today, the good word on the street is Soda Stereo American Airlines Arena December 5th Miami, Florida. Let me just tell you folks. This band is to me the best rock band of all times, it has been 10 years since they split, and it doesn’t seem like they are getting back together to record, but it was confirmed they are back together for some serious touring.

Well, like I said, it had been a while without addressing my 2.3 readers, so I figured they are people too, and should receive news about my ultra-exciting life.

Did I mention I am getting married? Oh yes…

Sacrifice | Compromise

There’s this great song with Pavarotti and U2 called Ms. Sarajevo, where Bono posts many a question about the right time to do something. “Is there a time for…” well, I’ve been thinking about way to many things lately, most of them involve commitment and the future, I think commitment would be nothing without some sacrifice, because it involves selflessness, it involves letting go of your selfishness, those particular things that you know are just for you and might not serve any purpose to anybody else. In any case, I am a person of compromise, of balance, of midpoints, there is always a midpoint, always a spot where to people can meet and find the right amount of something they want and something they can give away. So sacrifice is a matter of compromise, to me, it involves no regret, no discontent, such feelings will rot away within you, will keep you from realising your potential. So, as I’ve said before, I keep a positive outlook, the choices are make aren’t really as important as how committed I am to these choices, how happy I think these choices can make me.

My last few years have been about me, about my dreams, my goals, because ultimately my dreams involve many people, I never want to just make myself happy, I believe in retribution, and I never forget those who have helped me selflessly along the way. I have always seen fortune in my future, not necessarily fame and fortune, but success, happiness, when I search my feelings, which are the only thing I know to be true, I can find the answers. Foresight is not about certainty, it is about projection, by knowing who I am, I can know who I will be, when I see my life I see a continual rise of success, and why should I see anything else, if it is not what I want for myself? Projection. It is all about projection.

Right now. I can see many things unfolding for myself, they are here to grasp, they are moments that will never come again, and so I cherish these and dive deep into these choices because they dictate my future.

The Bean

Love at a metabolic rate
a growth spurt, a frame upon frames.
Quiet in warmth, learning to live.
Broken through the surface, instilled with breath,
savored by freedom, a catalyst of creation.

Juicy Mustang.

And why not? I love this picture. Let that be the blog.

No room for doubt.

There is only one way to say this I guess, and we start by talking about fear. Fear is an illusion. It is a boundary created by your mind to allow for weakness, and help you get some attention. Which is ultimately what we all want. Doubt opens up a direct pathway to fear, whether it be your own self-doubt, or someone else doubting you (which leads you to doubt yourself anyway.) ultimately the result is the same. Fear. Fear of losing whatever you think is so precious, when really, you never have anything to lose. Doubt is directly tied in to confidence, I, for one, would like to think that I have complete confidence in what I do and how I do it, if I don’t completely have it, then my work suffers, my life suffers, and I am not happy. So confidence, whether it be well deserved or not, is a solid key in my personality. At one point I thought having a huge ego was a bad thing, well, guess what, ego is what we strive for, ego is confidence and self determination. So I make ego a part of my life, because it helps me create better work and have respect for my efforts. It is my reward to myself.

Anyway, so I don’t like doubt, its a pathetic concept which can only yield negative results. People like to live their lives thinking they don’t have a choice, I used to think that way, all the time, everyday, and I became very depressed, because I was sent off to a school where I didn’t have a choice, and where it was never my choice to be at. Realizing this, I became completely obsessed with always having a choice. Now, choice can be tricky, but what helps is having the right goals in mind, the right attitude, a positive outlook, I can’t make a choice about my life thinking its going to be a negative thing, I cannot DOUBT my choices. They are the only thing that makes me understand how much I have accomplished, and how much I can accomplish still. My beliefs are also directly linked to doubt, because I cannot doubt my believes, otherwise I fall apart. It has taken me a long time to develop my way of life, my beliefs, my own reality. And it works for me. I don’t appreciate people doubting my beliefs… so my message for all of the 2.4 readers of this blog, and I guess for myself as well is, do not invite doubt into your life, have a positive perception of your decisions, because you always have a choice, and it will always be the right choice if you back it up with some heart.

The Double Book.

Oh yeah. I am officially the master of double booking, my life has gone from everyday by myself working till 11 pm, to a crammed schedule of fun and commitments. My friends complain about not having enough of me, which seems ironic as I think back on many weekends by myself hoping any of my friends would be willing to hang out. It’s the law of attraction, its a rubberband of opposite energies, the more you pull away, the more tension is built. Many days I felt completely forgotten by my friends and yearning for a companion that would improve my life. Now, my friends bitch and moan, and I am supposed to be exactly the same as before, and have all the time in the world to dedicate to people who believe in their own time and space and their own privacy, who would bail out on you if it was in their best interest. So what about my privacy, my best interest? But whatever, this is just an observation, if I really felt bad enough about it I would do something, truth is, there is little room for bad in my life, and the people I am with are people I want to be with, people who care about me, who are interested in what I may have to say… don’t get me wrong, I love my friends, but there is a balance to be attained, and sometimes it seems like I have to adjust to my friend’s schedule’s instead of just doing what I want to do whenever I want to do, which is exactly what they do. In any case, I gotta get organized, I have to dedicate more time to my friends and my company and I feel things are the way they should be and its probably better that I am not an easy person to see lately, that might just make people appreciate me a little more. There was a time when it used to be like that, when I would drive down from Gainesville every three weeks just so I could be with my friends for two days, back then I would feel appreciated, back then I was a commodity. Oh well, such is life, and its only up to me to appreciate myself, cause other people have their own selfs to appreciate as well.

El querer y el amar.

Antes de poder decir “te amo” se dice “te quiero”, despues se dice “te quiero mucho” y ya los dos saben lo que significa y es cuestión de quien lo dice primero. Solía pensar que era el hombre el que lo decía de primero, pero a las mujeres se les escapa mucho mas rapido.

Ultimamente mi mente tiene unas preguntas importantes para postularme, y son un reto bastante interesante. Mi manera de ver mi carrera es simple, quiero hacer diseño gráfico, quiero hacerlo muy bien. Si ese es mi enfoque, todo se acomoda a mis deseos. Porque el universo nos da lo que pedimos, y hay que pedirlo muy bien. Pero tambien existen otras personas, y nuevas oportunidades de trabajo que traen con ellas muchas responsabilidades [Ver Blog titulado: Responsible]. Y entonces debo aprender a manejar a la gente, lo cual no me interesa, es algo innato, yo me encargo de lo que yo se hacer, si las otras personas no tienen el deseo de hacerlo, no es mi problema… esa es parte de mi filosofía porque yo creo que si yo tengo el deseo de hacer las cosas bien, entonces todos podemos tener el deseo de hacer las cosas bien. continuara…

Open-Mind

Learning is a passion, an open-mind is invulnerable to surprise. More and more I feel like I have developed a slight sense of what is to come, surprises are limited to physical shock, while I can figure out why people (sorry a roach just nibbled on my foot) are acting they way they are acting, and how their particular situations might lead them down a certain path. After a long time of very constant conscious analysis, I now feel like that engine is always on, but I have a new feeling of self, with a an approach that is more physical on my end, I guess I have learned to distract my mind in order to let it rest, however that has achieved a highly developed insight that is always recording and will come to a conclusion based on that, quickly. My distraction is physical exercise, I have also been trying out a more rigorous regiment of health and pushing my body by using my mind. So I am learning things about myself that help me understand things about others.